Couples Counselling

Couple’s Counseling

Imago Couple’s Counseling

“Romantic stage: Your first love . . . leaves you in the clouds. On the other hand, staying in the clouds is just how you get your first love to leave.”

 

Isn’t being in love one of the best feelings in the world?

 

How do you keep that euphoria going?

 

What happens when the honeymoon phase is over?

 

When frustration and disillusionment set in.

 

Whether you’re a newlywed or on the verge of a divorce, I can help you as a couple re-connect and repair your relationship using the techniques of Imago Therapy. It won’t be easy, but it will definitely be fulfilling.

 

Imago is based on the best-seller “Getting The Love You Want” by Harville Hendrix, PhD, who co-founded Imago Relationships International together with his partner, Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD. Both were experienced couples therapists when they met following their own divorces. Together, they wondered why they were unable to save their own marriages. The ten years they spent studying couples provided answers that literally revolutionized the field of marriage counseling.

 

Why Imago Therapy?

I have been offering couple’s counseling for more than 20 years. In fact, my introduction to Imago Therapy was quite happenstance.

 

I needed continuing education credits to keep my professional license and I thought it would be fun to meet Harville Hendrix, along with Rebecca Sears, who was leading a two day workshop on his best-selling book. Initially, that was all I signed up for.

 

But my life, my marriage and my private practice changed profoundly after I was introduced to his teachings of Imago Therapy.

 

I practice this now, because it works. It’s proven. I believe in it. I have seen it save marriages. Tens of thousands of couples have benefited from this program. But enough about them … let’s focus on how it can help YOU.

 

At some point in most marriages, conflict and anger replaces our initial feelings of love and peace. Couples just slog along, even though they feel they have nothing in common anymore. They stay in a marriage of convenience or keep together “for the children’s sake”.

 

If you’re in this predicament, don’t lose heart. Most of the pain you may be experiencing comes not from a lack of love for your partner, but a misconception on what love is.

 

When Does Loving Go Wrong?

 

What is really happening when you fall in–and out of–love? When you first fall in love, all is right with the world. Your mate appears funny, sexy, and happy. He/she seems to complete you. He’s a thinker, you’re a doer. He plans, you are spontaneous … opposites attract, right?

 

Then something goes haywire. It could take months or years. Suddenly your partner is different than you thought. What initially attracted you begins to grate on you. The power struggles begin. Fighting replaces communicating and connecting.

 

Guess what? That’s actually supposed to happen. You are going to learn that conflict in a relationship is actually a good thing – in fact it’s all about growing and coming closer when channeled correctly.

 

See Imago therapy starts with a simple but profound belief. Everyone unconsciously picks their perfect mate – their Imago mate. At this point, that may be hard to believe. You marry someone who is an Imago match, that is, someone who matches up with the composite image of our primary caretakers (generally being our parents).

 

In doing so, you hide from the unacceptable parts of yourself by seeking what you lack in your partner. You are disorganized, so you are attracted to a neat freak. Or you are shy, so you are attracted to someone outgoing. But then you begin to criticize your partner for being too organized or too boisterous, calling them loud and obnoxious.

 

So you eventually try to squash the very traits you were looking for in the first place.

 

Deep isn’t it? This is where I come in. My promise is to help you and your partner develop a conscious, intimate, and committed relationship with one another using the powerful principles of Imago therapy.

 

Divorce will probably not solve the problems of your relationship. You may get rid of your partner, but you will keep your problems, carting them into the next relationship until you stop long enough to fix them.

 

As a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist, I use an approach to relationship counseling that teaches the skills needed to effectively reverse or prevent divorce. Or if divorce is inevitable, I help you through this mind numbing process and find wholeness on the other side.

 

This kind of counseling is for you if:

You are beginning a relationship you want to keep

You want to enrich an already satisfying relationship

You want to resolve long-standing conflicts with your partner

You are not sure you want to stay in an existing relationship

You are tired of getting into relationships that end in disappointment

I’m confident that no matter how bleak your relationship may look now, by learning more about your own Imago and your partner’s Imago, you can grow to become more loving and compassionate towards one another.

 

Principles of Imago Therapy:

Keeping love depends not on finding the right partner, but on becoming the right partner.

The core skill of Imago therapy is the “Couple’s Dialogue,” a powerful communication technique in which you change the way you talk to each other so that what you say to each other is more validating, empathetic and respectful.

You will change to give your partner what he/she needs and not just what is easy to give.

You will learn to see your partner not as an extension of you, not as you wish he/she would be, but as a unique individual with his/her own ideas or dreams that no longer collide with your own.

In giving your partner what they need versus just what you need, you will learn a true, lasting and mature love.

I look forward to talking to you.

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