“If you know what drives other up the wall, you can help them down.”
Sandra Krebs Hirsh
Many times we underestimate the power of our words. A single phrase can lead to a major conflict and cause a verbal battle. But if you listen first, probe next and talk straight, your words can minimize conflicts, maximize relationships and add trust and compassion to your problem solving solutions.
At work, we adhere to the credo “the customer is always right.” Is this true? Evonne applies her insightful communication skills to show us this is not necessarily so. Her four step approach teaches how to use the power of words to knock down walls, and negotiate and resolve conflicts, focusing not on “who will win”, but on “what to do” to achieve a win/win outcome.
Let’s assume you find yourself in a difficult situation with a customer, your manager or with a friend. Here are the four steps which can be applied to resolve the conflict and create a climate of mutual trust, openness and respect.
Step 1: Face the problem. Ask yourself these simple questions: Does this problem require a solution? Can you solve the problem cooperatively?
Step 2: Match the other person’s point of view. Truly listen to his/her point of view. Be empathetic, which does not mean you have to agree. Rather than assuming the person is wrong, stop, adapt your response, and listen to what part is true.
Step 3: Match and Move Cooperatively Toward Solving the Problem. Use your listening skills and powers of persuasion to arrive at joint decisions you both can live with. The key is to attack the problem, not each other.
Step 4: Take a stand. What if the news is bad and there is no way around it? You can’t necessarily make that person happy, nor does he/she have to like the answer. But your empathy and persuasiveness can go a long way in turning the conflict into cooperation. If you need to go to the next level of problem solving and take a stand, rather than feeling dependent on the other person’s response, create an action plan that depends on your action and follow through.
This seminar focuses on how to:
- Use the power of words to knock down walls, build bridges, and be more productive in all your interactions.
- Listen better and ask questions in a non-intimidating way that makes people less defensive.
- Develop win/win solutions using compassion, and openness.
- Be proactive in developing an action plan versus reactive to another’s responses.
"I thought it would take me months to see the results of using your negotiating strategies. Not so. In less than a month, I have increased my earning potential by leaps and bounds."
Joseph Leuchtmann, Financial Advisor
Morgan Stanley Dean Witter
